Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Music, Christmas

Sunday, 2 January 2011

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - Peter White, 26, is one of the very few people to listen to his Christmas songs after Christmas (at time of writing).

His MP3 player, a SanDisk Sansa Fuze V2.0 8GB with a 32GB microSD card, has over 20,000 tracks, 400 of which are songs specifically written for listening during the five weeks Christmas is supposedly on.

"It's crazy," said his work collegue. "It was okay playing it on the 27th, you know, a little nostalgia or something, but its January. Seriously man." He paused. "They're not even from this year most of them, so it's not getting the most value-for-use out of them."

Nearly 98% of his library is illegal downloads, with 99% of his Christmas songs illegal.

"This is nothing new," said his mother, Eloise White, "the boy used to listen to song about heartbreak two years after he'd broken up with a girl. That may seem trivial, but he met his wife three months afterwards, and they're still madly in love."

"His songs about sex as well," his aformentioned wife said, "he'd play 'em two hours after..."

We were able to reach Peter White for comment.

"I kinda made the pause button break," he explained. "I'm trying to wear down the battery so I can get an excuse to buy a new one."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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