Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 31 December 2010

image for Breakfast Cleavage News Magazine Names Louise Minchin Its "2010 News Reader With The Sexiest Voice"
Louise Minchin relaxing in her bed after a hard day at the BBC.

LONDON - Louise Minchin is regarded as one of the most respected journalists in Great Britain.

The 42-year-old is a noted news reader and news presenter who appears on BBC News At One and BBC Breakfast.

Minchin was born in Hong Kong where her father owned several chopstick factories. Her mother taught glockenspiel lessons to underprivileged children.

The pixie-haired blonde is married to David Minchin who owns two of London's most popular pubs, The Bloomin Buckingham and The Titanic Jr.

When Louise was asked how she felt about being named Breakfast Cleavage News Magazine's '2010 News Reader With The Sexiest Voice' she merely smiled and ironically quipped that she was speechless.

She composed herself and thanked everyone at the magazine including its 2 million readers, who are mostly males between the ages of 18 and 98.

Louise became somewhat serious as she mentioned that 2010 had been quite an up and down year for her going back to April and the dreaded Blue Dress Cleavage Incident where she was forced by her producer Throckington St. Johnstone to go to her dressing room and put on a white T-shirt underneath her blue dress.

When she respectfully asked Mr. Johnstone why, he replied because she was exposing a little too much of her tata's or as they call them in New Jersey, her puppies.

As it turned out, it was a blessing in disguise since the next month she appeared in an eight-page layout in PlayGent Mens Magazine which earned her tons and tons of pounds (dollars).

Brian Peacehaven, a reporter for The London Daily Hand-Held Mirror wrote that because of the brouhaha that St. Johnstone stirred up, England's leading T-shirt manufacturer, The It Fits To A T T-Shirt Company produced over 4 million Me Boobies Is Covered T-shirts which sold for £13 [$20 U.S.].

In a related story. Mrs. Minchin has denied rumors that have linked her romantically with Manchester United's star footballer Chicharito. Minchin expressed that although she considers herself to be Chicharito's biggest fan she is also old enough to be the muchacho from Mexico's mum.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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