Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Baby, Elton John

Wednesday, 29 December 2010

image for Sir Elton John In Fury Over Fatherhood 'Piss Takers'
Like Father, Like Son. Probably.

Sir Elton John is apparently furious that certain sections of the public at large aren't quite as ecstatic as he is over his surrogate fatherhood of a Christmas baby at the ripe old age of 63.

When universal adulation wasn't quite as gushingly sycophantic as Sir Elton apparently anticipated, he was reported by sources to be "abso - bloody - lutely pigging going off on one."

Apparently, Sir Elton has vowed to pursue through legal channels anybody who has the audacity to criticise his decision to become a father at the age of 63, and has vowed, according to insiders to 'sue the bollocking bastard arses off anybody who has the bloody audacity to mock or criticise him.'

Elton's wife, David Furniture is apparently right behind him in his handling of the situation.

One source told us that Sir Elton, famous for being a drama queen and throwing hissy fits at airports has resolved to take every penny from anybody who dares to criticise his joyous occasion - even if they are homeless and posting on internet forums from a public library in order to keep warm.

"The world better watch out," a source told Skoob Entertainment News. "Because once Sir Elton has the bit between his teeth he'll stop at nothing, leave no stone unturned. He stands to make billions off this."

So here at SEN - we won't be criticising Sir Elton and David Furniture, because it's SEN company policy to be nice to everybody. We would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations to the happy couple on the birth of their vanity child and plead with the miserable witless bastards not to sue us, because we don't have much anyway.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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