Written by Karen Fish
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Tuesday, 28 December 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Identified as Surrogate Mother of Sir Elton John Xmas Baby

Abraham and Sarah had their first child when Sarah was ninety. God the Father was the sperm donor for the Madonna. Michael Jackson just released a new album of original songs. Hugh Hefner just became engaged. Now 62 year old Sir Elton John has become a daddy. The name of the child is Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish John. And the name of the surrogate mother of Baby John is?

In the old days unwed teenage mothers went to a convent to have their babies. Karl Malone delivers. In this case Lindsay Lohan snuck away to the Betty Ford Center to have the child of Elton John and David Furnish on Christmas Day. Santa Claus delivered.

Michael Lohan, showing off the child exclusively for TMZ had this to say: "I promised Lindsay that I wouldn't speak about her in public anymore. Let me make this perfectly clear. I am not speaking about my daughter Lindsay Lohan. I am speaking about my grandson Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish John. Dina and I are delighted to become grand parents for the first time."

Michael Lohan continued: "The word Christ is the Latin for the word Messiah. The name of the Messiah, also born on Christmas Day just like Lindsay's baby was originally Yeshua in Aramaic. In Hebrew the name of the son of God was Joshua. Later the name was changed to the Latin Jesus. What was his last name? I asked Elton if we could put the name Lohan in the baby's name but he said that the name of the surrogate mother had to remain anonymous so as not to cause the child any psychological problems."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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