Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 28 December 2010

image for Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai Turns Down Simon Cowell's Offer of Being A Judge On His New American Show 'X-Factor'
Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai as she appeared in a scene from "The Panting Pink Panther."

HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, the CEO of 19th Hole Productions, has just learned that Indian actress Aishwarya Rai has refused his offer of being one of the judges on his new X-Factor Show.

Cowell who was the mastermind behind the extremely popular singing reality show American Idol as well as about 48 other Idol shows throughout the world, confessed that he was quite disappointed.

He commented that Aishwarya would have made a perfect fit as the third judge with himself and the beautiful English singer Cheryl Cole. Cowell smiled and said that it would have been a novel showcase with two exquisitely dressed gorgeous women and one T-shirted English bloke.

When Ms. Rai was contacted by a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune and asked why she had turned down Mr. Cowell's very generous offer she simply smiled and said that it was a very personal matter.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I placed a call to the man who knows everything about everybody, my good old retired friend Larry King. He informed me that Cowell had offered Ms. Rai $4.7 million (£3 million U.K.) which is the exact amount that he will be paying Cheryl Cole. King disclosed that Rai's husband Abhishek "The Camel Dude" Bachchan simply did not want his wife going to America for fear that she would get swept off her feet by some Hollywood leading man.]

There is no doubt that Aishwarya, who is one of the world's most beautiful women would no doubt attract men like a late evening Wyoming campfire attracts moths.

In fact, Rai, who was crowded Miss World in 1994, is in The Guinness Book of World Records for having received more marriage proposals than any other woman in the history of civilized marriage. The total entered into the book is 19,983.

So as of now, Simon Cowell, aka "The Sultan of Sarcasm" is still searching for a third individual to sit at the judges table with Cheryl Cole, the girlfriend of the winner of this years Dancing With The Stars, Derek Hough and himself.

In military news. The rumor that a Guatemalan aircraft carrier has sunk a Chinese submarine in the Baltic Sea has been disproved. Guatemala does not have an aircraft carrier.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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