Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 27 December 2010

image for Jennifer Aniston Tells Her Friend Chelsea Handler That She Has Become The Effen Blonde Version of Kathy Griffin
Jennifer Aniston shown in the kitchen of her Hollywood Hills home. (Photo courtesy of Johnny Depp).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jennifer Aniston who has had more boyfriends than Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Clay Aiken, and Boy George all put together has lashed out at her (former) best friend Chelsea Handler.

Aniston has flat out told Handler that she has become the effen blonde version of Kathy Griffin.

Handler, who hardly anyone has really heard of, is reportedly a stand up comedian who is highly prone to incorporating scores of four-letter words in her stand up routine.

According to Handler's booking agency, she has recently performed at The Giggling Iguana Club of Merriment in Eagle Pass, Texas; The Funny Finger Farm House in Bogalusa, Louisiana; The Laughing Hyena Hut in Bee Lick, Kentucky; and the newly remodeled Club Ha Ha Ha in Toad Suck, Arkansas.

Chelsea, who kind of resembles Reese Witherspoon, except with trout pout lips, an NBA nose, and a Courtney Love mouth, supposedly stated that Angelina Jolie, who is married to Aniston's ex-husband Brad Pitt, is nothing but a home-wrecking whore.

The interesting thing about the Aniston-Handler relationship is that as recently as late November both women were photographed down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on the beach wearing extremely skimpy bikini swimsuits and playfully rubbing suntan lotion on each others asses.

When asked if they were lesbianites by Polo Del Matador, a reporter for The Cabo San Lucas Morning Olé News, both women firmly denied that they were lesbianites or even quasi-lesbianites.

Del Matador reportedly just smiled, winked, and said "Okey dokey, American muchachas I believe ju."

Jennifer was asked as to why she became so upset when Chelsea made that horrible remark about Angelina, especially since she had stolen her husband six years ago.

Aniston replied by saying that in a way she considers Angelina to be her wife-in-law. Jennifer acknowledged that it may seem strange but that there are a lot of things about her, Brad, and Angie that are in fact strange as hell such as all three love to bathe with rubber duckies, eat peanut butter and macaroni sandwiches, and watch professional wrestling at home in the nude.

In other news. The 6,000 foot tall volcano that had suddenly formed in the middle of the African country of Dutch West Wakaboonka has just as suddenly disappeared overnight. Volcanic scientists are extremely baffled to say the least.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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