MARICOPA, Arizona - Bristol Palin, who finished in third place in this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars has just purchased a home in Maricopa, Arizona in order to be closer to Senator John McCain who lives in Phoenix.
Bristol "The Pistol" a single unwed mama stated that she purchased the five-bedroom, five-bath, one dance studio 3,900 square foot home with the money she received from her appearance on DWTS.
When asked how much she paid, Palin at first balked at revealing the dollar amount but then simply figured that someone would only end up calling up Larry King and the old geezer would tell them.
The "Dancing Mama," as her mother Sarah calls her, revealed that she paid $172,834 for the brown, red, and lavender colored stucco house.
Bristol when asked explained that the house had belonged to a very nice gentleman whom Maricopa Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio had arrested for being an illegal alien.
The man was flown back to his home in Cuernavaca, Mexico. His 2010 Lexus, his 2010 BMW, and his 2010 Cadillac Escalade were all confiscated and sold at a Tea Bag Party sponsored fund-generating auction.
Sheriff "Pinky" Arpaio then personally called up Bristol and told her that the house was available and that it was appraised at $775,000 but that he would make arrangements to let her have it for $172,834 on the 'hush-hush.'
According to Dempsey Fillerhaufer, the editor of The Maricopa Morning Mentioner newspaper, the reason that Bristol Palin is moving to Arizona is to be closer to Senator John McCain.
The Arizona senator, known as "Comb-Over" John is planning on running on the GOP presidential ticket in 2012 and he has personally asked Bristol Palin to be his vice-presidential running mate.
McCain, reportedly told the Morning Mentioner that when he and his wife Cindy saw the votes that Bristol "The Pistol" was bringing in on Dancing With The Stars they both decided that if John ever wants to be president, his best bet of getting himself elected to that job is with Bristol Palin on his ticket.
Word is that when Bristol's mother, Sarah "Snowflake" Palin found out about McCain's statements she became so upset and so uncontrollably angry that husband Todd said she went outside in the front lawn with her high powered telescopic rifle and shot at a flock of Canadian Mallard Ducks that were flying over their Wasilla home, Casa Moscow.
Todd pointed out that even though Sarah managed to fire off six rounds she did not hit any of the ducks who after hearing the first shot took off flying faster than Wynonna Judd chasing after a squirrel with one of her freshly baked biscuits in its mouth.
In a related story. There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Sarah and Todd's little nine-year-old daughter Piper was recently sent home from school after she hit another little girl on her nose with a freshly caught two-pound salmon.