Written by anthonyrosania
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Thursday, 23 December 2010

If you've lived your life waiting for Padmé Amidala and Meg Griffin to sip each other's fuzzy cups, the 2010 movie "Dark Swan" answers thusly:

So, whenever someone Googles...

..."Mutual Contemporaneous Cunnilingus", they're coming right to me. Take that, Abel Rodriguez
Just kidding, Abel. Big fan!

1.) What an oddly specific sexual fantasy. And;
2.) Your wait is over.

"We decided that the script for 'Black Swan' was somewhat deficient," said director Darren Aronofsky, whose 2000 film, 'Requiem For A Dream' grossed a whopping $3.6 million. "Actually, I just bought a copy of the script for 'Single White Female' and wrote 'Dark Swan' on it."

"Anyway, since the script suck donkey balls, and I am probably the worst director in Hollywood, we decided to just have Mila and Natalie clutter up each other's butter gutter. It was fun to film."

Co-star Mila Kunis begged to be in the movie, even after reading the script.

"I am amazed by the Black Swan Theory," said Kunis. "The thought of the disproportionate role of high-impact and nearly unpredictable events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance and technology, as well as the apparent non-computability of the probability of the consequential rare events using scientific methods, as well as the psychoactive biases that make people individually and collectively blind to uncertainty and unaware of the massive role of the rare event in historical affairs is absolutely fascinating to me.

(Actually, she said, "This movie is, like, good and stuff. Trees are pretty. Ouchie, my thinker hurts,")

Aronofsky also revealed that 20th Century Fox initially rejected his final cut of the film.

"Yeah, we didn't see eye-to-eye. The original lesbian scene ran about an hour, an hour and ten minutes," said Aronofsky. "They made me cut it down to 1:59, and replace it with, you know, the storyline."

Aronofsky also revealed that his original choice for the Lip-Syncing to the Fish-Fueled Jukebox scene.

"We were gonna have (Dark Swan co-star) Winona Ryder do the scene, but who'd want to watch a 50-year-old felon French kiss Mr. Lincoln?"

"Plus, you know that she'd end up following you around like a lost puppy afterward. Naah, we'd rather the movie sucked."

Mission Accomplished.

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