TUCSON, Arizona- President Barack Obama was in Arizona, the "Pink" state so called in honor of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio.
The president was speaking before an end-of-year convention of The Grand Imperial Order of The Knights of The Off-White Bougainvillea, a southwest chapter of the Ku Klux Klan.
The president was personally invited to Tucson by The Grand Exalted Dragon Wizard of The KKK Rayford "Whitey" Giddykoontz to talk about as Giddykoontz put it, "Dat doncha be askin' doncha be tellin policy and shit."
Before leaving for his trip to Tucson, which is the home office of the KKK, the president was asked by several members of the White House press why in the world he would want to go down to Arizona and speak before such a group of white supremacists.
President Obama grinned and noted that many people seem to have forgotten that he is after all half white.
He explained that the members of the KKK are all tax-paying Americans who deserve to be heard even if there are those who insist that the hooded and robbed individuals are nothing more than glorified racists who go around burning bubble gun cards of black baseball players, badmouthing rap music, and saying that sistas like Beyonce, Naomi Campbell, Alicia Keys, and Oprah Winfrey all have some mighty big butts on 'em.
The president was asked by one of the KKK members identified as Billy Bobby "Okra Teeth" Fitzpicker what he thought about gay marriage. Brobama, as blacks like the Rev. Al Sharpton, Kanye West, Shaquille O'Neal, and Bill Cosby call him, answered that he was for gay marriage.
A small rumbling sound started in the back of the room. The president then quickly remarked, "But now say, hey fellas, lissen up here now. I will tell y'all here and now, and I ain't be lying on dis, dat I am firmly set against gay marriage 'tween a white guy and a black bro and dats what I be's talkin about ya hear."
The room erupted in applause. Several KKK members started shouting out "O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA!" The president could clearly be seen grinning from ear to ear as he took a sip from his bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer.
Fitzpicker stood up and asked "So den, lemmy make sure dat I got's dis right misser presidential. So you will not let no black bro marry no white dude no matter even if da white dude is kinda on da pretty side right?"
"Billy Bobby, is it?"
"Yassur dat be my white given name it be."
The president disclosed, "Billy Bobby ya have my word as a half black half white fella dat I will not allow any bi-racially mixed gay marriages ta take place. And iffin I does hears about it...well lemmy just say dat it will not be a pretty pitcher cause I will have da two b and w fagarinos sent down ta Gitmo, Cuber where dey will spend their time pickin up cigar butts wiff their b and w lips and dat is what I be talkin about fa shizzle ma white honkie nizzles uhh huh."
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