LONDON - Things in the once upon a time wondrous world of Alex Reid and his wife of less than a year Katie Price seem to be going from strange to stranger as the cage fighter has announced that he is thinking of moving in permanently with his mother.
The 35-year-old cage fighter confessed that he has just gotten tired of Katie's overly huge eyelashes, her Nancy Pelosi bossy type attitude, and her no deodorant on weekends policy.
He laughed and mentioned that the night before he moved out of the couple's house, he took a blue Sharpie pen and while Katie was asleep, he connected all of the freckle dots on her upper chest.
Meanwhile his soon-to-be-ex-wife Katie, aka Jordan the Jouster, is living alone in the couples £2 million [$3.1 million U.S.] mansion. A close, unnamed, reliable source said that last week 32-year-old Katie went to Blooming-Macys Department store in Soho and purchased an inflatable blow-up male doll.
The source stated that at first Price was somewhat embarrassed talking to the salesclerk about purchasing the 'Doll.' But once the salesclerk identified as Dayton Thicketshire, 67, explained to her that roughly 24 percent of all British women own one of the unique dolls, Katie felt much better.
Her pink complexion went away. She stopped slurring her words. And she noticed that she was no longer resting her hands on her excited blurty (muffin).
Price paid the salesclerk the price of £179 [$277 U.S.] including an extended warranty good for three years. She returned to her home where after about two hours of 'blowing up' the doll, she slipped into something provocatively sexy, poured herself a papaya Margarita, put on some Harry Connick, Jr., music, and proceeded to flirt with her brand new 'boyfriend' who still had that 'new doll' smell.
In other news. The rumors about Melissa Rivers, Joan's daughter, having a 'tramp stamp' with the name of Charlie Sheen are totally false. Melissa did comment that she does have a tattoo on her lower back but that it is a tattoo of a Yiddish bagel.