Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 21 December 2010

image for Taylor Momsen Performs In Scotland And Confuses It With England
Taylor Momsen who uses more makeup than a circus clown goes through three lipsticks a day.

GLASGOW, Scotland - Taylor Momsen, aka "The Racoon Rapscallion" performed with her band The Pretty Reckless before a boisterous crowd at Glasgow's Silken Kilt Arena.

The Scottish concert goers were having a jolly good time up until Momsen, aka The Rogue Riffraff Ruffian yelled out that they were the greatest group of folks in the entire country of England.

Instantly Scottish accented boos could be heard echoing from the rafters down to the lower seats. Taylor turned to her bass guitar player, Grover Creelbocker, and asked him what the hell was wrong and why were they booing her as if she was Naomi Campbell, Madonna, or Jennifer Thompson.

The bass guitarist hollered back that maybe they were booing her hidiously ugly looking caked-on eye liner, or perhaps the fact that her hair looked like it was made of silver straw, or it could be they were booing her overly silicone inflated tata's, or maybe simply the fact that, truth be told, she can't sing worth a $5 Las Vegas gambling casino chip.

Momsen stuck her tongue out at Creelbocker and yelled out that none of those possibilities were worth a damn.

She continued with her concert. Afterwards she was told backstage by a security guard that she and her dumb stupid ass were in Scotland and not England.

She giggled and said that she did not realize it since she heard all of the crowd talking in English and not Scottish.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: When it comes to geography, Taylor Momsen is in the same league as Sarah "Miss North Korea" Palin. Momsen later Twittered that at least she did not tell the Scottish crowd that she thought that she was in Russia like Palin had done when she spoke to a bunch of GOP nuns in Detroit three years ago.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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