Written by IainB
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Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Is Katy Perry Pregnant?
Why did you call me Brandy Brand?

Rumours are rife across the internet that Katy Perry is pregnant, and due to give birth to Russell Brand's child sometime in June 2011, however the couple strongly deny the rumour.

A close friend of the Brands has revealed that the rumours are true, however, and now media speculation is turning to what the expectant couple will call their child.

"If it's a girl," said Julian Carrot, Katy's life long friend, "They are considering Brandy, and for a boy, Brandon. I have told Katy that Brandy Brand or Brandon Brand are a bit silly. Russell kind of likes them though."

The name is not as silly as some of the names Russell has been coming up with, including Fire and Rhea for a boy and girl respectively.

"What we know about Russell is that he won't shy away from a name just because it's unpopular," said Carrot. "It wouldn't surprise me if he wanted to call a baby daughter Adolf."

Katy is said to be putting her foot down over the naming of the child, with Russell seemingly incapable of coming up with anything sensible.

"Apparently, Russell is a big fan of In The Night Garden and wants to call his first child Un, the second one Oo, and the third Ee. But again, Katy has said no, she doesn't want a child called Un Brand. It will be bad enough that if the baby is a girl, she will be Miss Brand."

Brand almost got away with Edward, until Julian told her that in a school register, the boy would be Brand Ed.

"I think Katy will get her way," said Julian. "And the baby will be called something sensible, like Octavia or Oswald. She likes the letter 'O'."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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