Written by SpaceElevator
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Sunday, 19 December 2010

image for 'Tubby' Mariah Carey Sings in Public for President Obama
Twins, eh?

(District of Columbia) - This year's Christmas in Washington television special featured none other than Mariah Carey dressed up as a wrapped-in-red box-with-bow for the President and First Family.

Ms. Carey jetted in for the event immediately after ending her Canadian tour -- during which she admitted to eating "far too much" poutine.

"I have a hard time with portion control," said the extra-large-girthed singer. "My road manager once tried to keep donuts away from me, so I bit his arm." (off-record): "Excuse me, do you have anything I could munch on? Maybe some potato chips or something?"

Following her rendition of "O Come All Ye Faithful" the ravenous broad-side-of-a-barn immediately said 'thank you and happy holidays' to the crowd then asked for directions to the free egg nog and cookies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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