He's completed the last edition of his TV show "Larry King Live" on CNN.
But that's not the biggest challenge in Larry King's life. No, that would be learning to live without his beloved red suspenders. He reports that the theft occurred on the day of his last show.
In an exclusive interview with Gail Farrelly, investigative reporter at The Spoof, Larry shared a list of suspects, also providing in each case a likely motive for the theft of the suspenders:
-- Frosty the Snowman ("A nice splash of red would go well with his black top hat and corn cob pipe.")
-- TV personality Bill O'Reilly ("He's never liked me, simply because Kool-Aid happens to be my drink of choice.")
-- Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer ("Desperate for something to match his nose.......")
-- Piers Morgan ("He can't wait to get into my chair at Larry King Live. He probably lusted after my suspenders too.")
-- Al Gore ("When he was a guest on my show a few years ago, he was nattering on about global warming and his invention of the Internet, but his eyes were glued to my suspenders.")
For now, Larry refuses to wear any other suspenders. So his immediate challenge is not how to enjoy his retirement or find a new gig. It's how he's gonna hold up his pants. He's offering a reward to anyone who returns his beloved red suspenders, no questions asked. Call 1-800-RedKing for more info.
Sadly, an observer of Larry reports that, at last sighting, King's pants were already at low-hip level and heading in a southerly direction.