Pop Star Michael Jackson unveiled a new look yesterday at his Neverland Ranch, but denied that it involved another plastic surgery.
"All I used was a bottle of Miss Clairol," said Jackson at his announcement and presentation. "I decided that I wanted to dye my hair red for a change of pace since the trial is now over. Red is so flashy and implies that I am a fun person. I am keeping with my usual fashion trendsetting on stylin' clothes with this new jumpsuit."
In addition to a yellow, red, and white jumpsuit and large yellow shoes, Jackson also was wearing a pair of yellow gloves. When asked if he was wearing two gloves this time to keep from leaving fingerprints, Jackson just giggled and did not answer the question.
Several people at the press conference felt that Michael's new look was not very original and that he resembeled the Ronald McDonald character from the McDonald's hamburger chain of restaurants. When asked about the similarities, he responded by saying that "Yes, Ronald does look somewhat like me now. Because of our unique appearance and my financial problems because of the trial, I am allowing McDonald's to open a franchise inside of my Neverland Ranch amusement park. I will work there part time hosting the birthday parties for the little boys and girls. I do love the children."
A lawyer on the prosecution team who refused to be identified by name said that "instead of dressing up like the clown that he really is, Michael ought to be dressed up in the prison stripes of the Hamburglar. Whose idea is it to let him run children's birthday parties? Does he give new meaning to the celebrant being the lucky little boy? It is also obvious that he did not have to put any white make-up on his face to play the role. After all, according to that old joke Michael Jackson is living proof that any poor black child in America can grow up to be a rich white woman!"
A Jackson family spokesperson, when told of the announcement, said "That's funny, just last week Michael was telling us he wanted to be a Catholic Priest."