LONDON - ITV, the channel to watch when there's nothing on the BBC, has promised its low IQ demographic another series of Britain's Got Talentz and Shiz.
The new series will air pretty soon on ITV, around March. Great, just enough time to buy a set of good earplugs. The show, which will generate a shitload of shit on my Facebook and Twitter feeds, will feature comedian Michael MacIntyre, and cool guy Hasselholf as judges. Oh, no. They've taken Hasselholf's soul! Either that, or finding a gig is really hard for the guy.
"Oh yes," said some PR guy, "this will feature more acts, more talent, and more family fun!" He then had his script taken away. "Nah. The show is utter tosh. Seriously. I hate. My. Job. PR'ing this is a fucking nightmare."
The previous BGT final had over 15 million sheep watching the show. Oh god! What the hell has commercialism done? Seriously? There are other good shows on ITV1... oh. Err...
According to an IT department memo at ITV, they've managed to hack into Steven Hawking. Apparently, they'll 'make him break the laws of psychic (sic)'. Oh dear.