LONDON - Speaking from an English garden that happens to be one of the biggest English gardens in Great Britain, Camilla, aka the Duchess of Cornwall, aka Mrs. Prince Charles, had a spot of tea with a reporter for the English tabloid Jolly Bloomin' Rumors.
Camilla, who at 63 is one year older than her famous husband, told Miley Shastacaster, that she is still somewhat sore from being poked in the ribs by one of the dastardly rioting student hooligans who threw bright yellow paint, empty imported Corona beer bottles, cow's milk, and bits of Mickey D's Big Macs at their 1977 classic Rolls Royce Phantom VI.
The Duchess of Cornwall said that she had not been more scared since that time up in Switzerland when she almost fell of the very top of the Alps.
She recalled that luckily for her, her then boyfriend, David Frost grabbed a hold of one of her titter tatters (knockers) and was able to keep her from falling 15,000 feet to the very bottom.
Shastacaster asked if it was true that her and her husband had a fight the night they returned home after having been caught in the middle of the student riots. Camilla responded by saying that yes it was true.
When asked to elaborate she stated that she felt that during their horribly traumatic ordeal in downtown London that Charles just sat there as if he was waiting for a bus.
She noted that she kept yelling for him to help her and to cover her with his body but she said that he never heard a word she uttered because he was too busy screaming and yelling like a Salisbury school girl.
The Royal couples personal chauffeur Noel Billingshurst was asked if it was in fact true that Charles was actually screaming louder and higher than Camilla.
Billingshurst, who resides near Westminster Abbey giggled and said that he had to turn around and look, but added that the prince was in fact hollering so loud that his shrilled sounds coming from his Royal mouth were drowning out whatever the 'ell (his word) was coming out of Camilla's mouth.
The Duchess of Cornwall was asked about the word on the streets of London, Ipswich, and Portsmouth that she is planning on filing for a divorce due to Charles 'ungentlemanly' act.
She raised her eyebrows, clutched her hands, took a sip of tea, and replied that at the moment they are both planning on moving to Sweden. Camilla shrugged her shoulders and added that as of now, she has decided to give her "Prince" one more chance.
SIDENOTE: Noel Billingshurst noted that Prince Charles had offered him £500 [$777 U.S.] to keep quiet about what happened in the car the night of the student riot. He said that The Upper Tooting Trumpeter Tribune offered him £1,000 [$1,554 U.S.] to tell his story. Billingshurst grinned and said, "Ya know mate, I may not be too bright a bloke I say, but I do say dat I knows me arithmetic and £1,000 is twice as much as £500.