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Tuesday, 14 December 2010

image for Matt Cardle And Olly Murs Rejected For Oasis Christmas Gig
A Typical Night At The OB&G

X-Factor stars Matt Cardle and Olly Murs were sensationally turned down as headliners for a Christmas gig at the internationally renowned Oasis Bar And Grill in London.

Entertainment Director of the OB&G, PM Wortham, admitted that owing to the popularity of the two chirpy Essex chappies, he had accorded them serious consideration as Christmas Eve headliners, but reluctantly had to red card the pair, despite their massive popularity among tone deaf British punters.

The Oasis Bar and Grill, a well known watering hole for international satirists, gypsys, tramps, thieves, and assorted ladies of the night has long enjoyed its avant garde reputation as Britain's craziest watering hole for the impoverished international satirical set.

PM Wortham told SEN: "I took advice from Masterchev, the chef, and in his opinion, those guys just aren't OB&G material. The problem is, that although our writers frequently poke fun at guys like these, they wouldn't ever want to hear them sing. So they're out on their Essex asses."

It isn't yet known who will headline at the OB&G on Christmas Eve, but former satirist, Gay Larry, stated in confidence that he was lining up a real blockbuster of an act, and that negotiations are well under way.

Meanwhile, former pirate captain and ace detective, Morse, sat stoically at Table 5 with his back to the wall, drinking a pint of Stella and chowing down on a plate of fish and chips.

Wearing nothing but an enigmatic smile.

More as we get it. This one promises to be big.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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