Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 18 December 2010

image for Justin Bieber Reveals The Amazing Reason He Is Extremely Scared of Skateboards
Donnie the crazed Canadian mallard duck that bit Justin Bieber at the Pocatello Petting Zoo on December 2, 2009.

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Canadian singing sensation Justin Bieber was in Green Bay attending the 91st Annual Snow Plow Parade and Ice Fishing Championships.

Bieber, who was the parade's grand marshall, stated that he was thrilled to have been asked again since he could not make it last year due to the fact that he was recovering from that vicious Canadian mallard duck bite that he had received back on December 2, 2009, from the crazed duck in Pocatello's Petting Zoo.

Justin said that as much as the bite hurt and as expensive as the medical and doctor bills were he chose not to have the duck put to sleep. The duck, named Donnie, was instead flown to California and turned lose on the Mojave Desert to fend for himself.

The young Canadian singing idol says that luckily he does not have any lingering traumatic side effects from the experience, other than the fact that he can no longer stand to sit and watch Donald Duck cartoons.

Justy's mom, Patti Lynn "Dimples" Mallette, says that the two used to sit and watch Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse cartoons for hours on end but now they can only watch the Mickey Mouse ones because the Donald Duck ones cause Justy to break out in a sweat, become extremely nervous, and have to pee every three minutes or so.

Mrs. Mallette, also added that Justy recently revealed to the audience at The Ohio Blue Tip Kitchen Matches Arena in Akron, Ohio, that the duck incident, which the media dubbed QuackGate, has for some inexplicable reason caused him to become extremely scared of skateboards.

One of the nation's leading skateboard injury surgeons, Dr. Jupiter Pumpkinwax of Providence, Rhode Island, suggested that the reason for Justin's sudden attained fear of skateboards is probably due to the fact that early skateboards were actually manufactured using discarded duck bills.

Dr. Pumpkinwax elaborated on his theory by showing Mrs. Mallette dozens of photos, drawings, and even an Etch-A-Sketch to prove his point.

In a related story. Justin recently met 16-year-old Willow Palin, the younger sister of the Dancing With The Stars dancing sensation Bristol Palin. The two actually went out on a date to a local Dairy Queen in West Hollywood. Justin was later asked what he thought about Willow. He hesitated at first but then confessed that he liked her a lot except for the fact that all she wanted to do was talk about stalking, shooting, and skinning caribou, moose, and reindeer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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