Written by Lady Godiva
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Monday, 13 December 2010

image for Shaun Ryder 'loses it totally' when music criticized-Sent to Priory Clinic to join Subo Fanatics
Shaun Ryders favourite possession.

Shaun Ryder, musician and sometimes columist, completely lost his cool in front of an audience recently. He was fielding questions from the audience when a young woman had the audacity to critize his latest lyrics.

Shaun had to be, quite literally,held back as he stood up and angrily began to move towards her. The whole incident was filmed. Shaun was screaming, uttering absolute foul language, death threats and threats of rape to the young woman, who was ushered to safety.

His language would have put any 'sailor' to shame.

After the show he was, apparently, assessed by a psychiatric team. The result of the assessment indicated that Shaun had actually had a total breakdown and it he has been sent to the Priory Clinic in London for treatment.

Shaun does not know what 'hell' he is in for at The Priory. Other professionals in the mental health field, query the decision made by those carrying out Shaun's assessment. A spokesman said,

"We think it is utterly ridiculous to send Shaun to The Priory, knowing it has recently been invaded by the Red Scarf Brigade, i.e. Susan Boyle Fanatics. (see related story).

Shaun doesn't stand any chance of recovery if he is in the same facility as these fanatics. He's likely to be worse NOT better within a few minutes of entering the doors of The Priory."

One female psychiatrist, wearing a read scarf and an 'I Love Susan Boyle' tee-shirt, interrupted her colleague saying,

"I totally disagree. I think that spending time with the Subo gals will really be good for Shaun. They'll look after him and teach him manners, calm him with the Subo music being piped through the hallways and they will shower him with blessings. Many will spend time in the Chapel at The Priory, praying for his recovery.

"How much 'better' could it be?

"They will 'take him on as a project'. The gals just love projects.

"They may even teach him how to quilt whilst he is in The Priory."

Time will tell. We will keep you updated about Shaun's status.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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