Written by Mark Lowton
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Topics: Celebrities, Charity

Saturday, 13 September 2003

image for Celebrities: 'We can't eat our own feet'
Sir Anthony : I just couldn't devour my own feet

HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a shock announcement, Celebrities have said they just can't stomach their own feet.

This revelation comes as celebrities attempt to draw attention to the memory of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on America, and get some publicity for themselves.

"I just couldn't do it!" Claimed Courtney Cox (Friends, Scream).

An equally stunned David Schwimmer, friend and character brother in Friends series, said "I tried my damnedest, but I really couldn't do it either."

Both Courtney and David were however able to inform me of the release of a new Friends DVD.

The stunt involved 1,600 Hollywood celebrities who are all reported to have been unable to eat their own feet.

"I seem to remember hearing something about a religious man who ate his own feet once." Said acclaimed actor and event organiser Sir Anthony Hopkins. "It was in protest of the thieves who stole his shoes. Something like that. We hope what we have achieved here has brought attention to the poor souls who lost their lives in 9/11. Even though I played the cannibal, Hannibal Lecter, I just couldn't bring myself to devour my own feet I'm afraid."

All the celebrities are believed to have been paid in excess of $25,000 for their appearance at this fund raising event.

TheSpoof applauds their valiant efforts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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