MILWAUKEE - Carrie Fisher, the long ago star of Star Wars epics, was visiting an old high school biology teacher, Mrs. Ettie Vinnie Nutbrewster in Milwaukee.
As the two talked at a local Chicky's Cheese Chalet Shoppe she was asked by one of the waitresses if the rumor about John Travolta was true.
Carrie smiled and asked if she could be more specific since she has heard at least nine rumors about the Saturday Night Fever star just in the past two years alone.
The waitress who gave her name as Ebony Dragonfruit said that she had heard from her cousin Clovina Shillingwood, who had heard from her next door neighbor Pellisha Marblestone that she had read in the latest issue of Avocado Illustrated magazine, that Travolta was somewhat on the gaylord side.
Fisher started laughing and replied that she has been hearing that rumor ever since Johnny had reportedly been caught kissing a pedicurist in West Hollywood who goes by the name of Brucey the Sissified Pedicurist.
Carrie shook her head and replied that she had told herself a long, long time ago that it was none of her business as she adheres to the long held belief that originated in Ottumwa, Iowa, back in the 1840s which states, "Johnny crack corn and I don't care, Johnny crack corn and I don't care."
Travolta was asked by a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune about these gay allegations. He smiled and replied, that it really all depends on one's definition of what the word gay is and that he is not gay in a gay way.
In other news. Queen Elizabeth has stated that admission to Buckingham Palace will be doubled in order to pay for the extensive damages to the car in which Prince Charles, 62, and his wife Camilla, 63, were riding in when they were viciously attacked by protesting, young friggin hooligans (her words).