Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 December 2010

image for Sandra Bullock and Heidi Montag To Star In The Lesbian Epic "The Carpet Cuties of California"
Sandra Bullock's lipstick impression which she sells on eBay for $17 each or three for $50.

HOLLYWOOD - Sandra Bullock, who lately has devoted most of her time to being the mommy of little Louis Bardo Bullock, has just announced that she will be starring with Heidi Montag in Staccato Monteverdi's lesbian spy-comedy The Carpet Cuties of California.

The Lions Face Film Company motion picture will be shot in several California locations including El Segundo, East L.A., Enscondido, Encinitas, and El Cajon.

Bullock will star as Norwegian lesbian spy Vardalina Oslostad and Montag will star as Danish lesbian spy Jutlanda Copensinger.

The two characters meet at a Recycling Convention in Helsinki, Finland, and become very close. In fact, Monteverdi has stated that the lesbian scenes in his movie will be the most intimately intimate lesbian scenes ever filmed.

When Bullock was asked if she had second thoughts or if she was embarrassed at all about having to kiss another actress on the mouth she replied that she was not.

She smiled coyishly and then added "Remember I French kissed both Meryl Streep and Scarlett Johansson on television before 40 or so million people, so the three letter word shy is not even in my vocabulary."

Montag was asked the same question. She replied that she has kissed several females in the past including her high school home economics teacher Addie Fluffowitz, her high school geography teacher Rowena Limequat, and her high school boyfriend Jarvis Breadnut's mother Tressie "Tatas" Breadnut.

The movie will be filmed in 3D and 4F and will co-star Betty White, Nancy Pelosi, the world champion San Francisco Giants, and Simon Cowell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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