NEW YORK CITY - Christmas has come early for 90s 'shock jock' Howard "Smiley" Stern. The radio personality who stands 6 foot 5 inches tall has just signed a five year contract with satellite radio company, Sirius XM, that will pay him $100 million per year.
The "Half A Billion Dollar Man" told a representative for Sirius XM that he is worth every penny and that the reason is because everyone from the Left Coast to the Right Coast down to the Space Coast and over to the Third Coast knows that Howard Stern is "The King Wiener of All Media."
Stern, who really is not as shy as he sounds says that he is the former Tiger Woods of Radio except without all of the blonde, money-grabbing bitches tugging at his groin region in search of his bulging wallet.
He laughed as he said that years ago New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner remarked that he was going to buy a World Series. Howard popped some Cheetos in his mouth and stated, "Well I may just decide to buy the New York Yankees."
Stern was asked what his wife Beth had to say about his new contract. "Smiley" Stern said that his wife was so excited that she accidentally peed on their pet Pomeranian puppy "Puddles."
SIDENOTE: Howard Stern was asked what he plans on doing with so much money. He thought for a moment and then tongue-in-cheek replied that he will have his lawyers look into the possibility of purchasing Arizona and moving it down to Mexico.