Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for Gillian McKeith Ripped To Shreds On Loose Women

'I'm A Celeb' contestant and renowned Scottish turd analyst, Gillian McKeith was today mercilessly ripped to shreds on the ITV lunchtime show by the Loose Women themselves, in her first TV appearance since the jungle debacle.

McKeith, an avowed vegan, has apparently taken a time out in order to take advice from her agent, and straighten out her story.

But the Loose Women weren't convinced. Not at all. Nolans singer, Colleen Nolan looked particularly unimpressed by the shit sifter, frowning, glaring, and frequently looking aghast as Gillian McKeith trotted out what appeared to be a well rehearsed catalogue of excuses for her intolerable behaviour whilst in the bush.

Down under.

In what must have been a nightmare for the show's director, the cameras repeatedly held the meat dodger in close-up so as not to reveal the incredulous expressions and utter disbelief of the resident panellists.

Of whom, the aforementioned Colleen Nolan was by far the most vocal and demonstrative in her critique of the shit doctor.

To Nolan's credit though, she managed to refrain from calling McKeith a 'lying, snivelling, humpty backed little shit.'

Which wasn't really necessary anyway, because Colleen Nolan's expression and body language said it all.

"You lying, self promoting, snivelling, megaphobic, manipulative, humpty backed little shit!"

Mercifully, Colleen didn't actually say that.

Not in words anyway. She didn't have to.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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