Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for Christina Aguilera's Stolen Quasi-Nude Photos Are Photoshopped - "The Body Is Mine, But The Face Is Not Mine"
Aguilera says it's her body, but not her face. (Photo courtesy of Sage Mangosteen).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera was sitting with one of her back up singers Ginger "Girl" Brockenzipper at a local Yiddish pizza parlor 'Ey Ya Vant Sum Pizza in West Hollywood.

Aguilera was overheard telling Brockenzipper that she does not appreciate that some hackneyed hacker hacked into her computer and stole very intimate and semi-nude photos of her which were only meant to be seen by her hair stylist FuFi Fondue, whom she stressed is as gay as Clay Aiken, Boy George, and Elton John put together.

Aggie, as her personal manicurist Wildflower Donnerdinkle calls her, said that the photos were taken by Sage Mangosteen, a non-lesbianite photographer who specializes in photographing the bikini tacos of some of El Lay's (Los Angeles) most noted celebrities.

Christina did want to emphasize that the 19 pictures reportedly of her in various stages of nude and nudeness have been photoshopped. She said that while the body in the photos is definitely hers, the face on the photos is not hers.

Brockenzipper asked Christy whose photo was superimposed on her body. Aguilera shrugged her shoulders and said that she did not know but suspects that it could be Christina Aguilera look-a-likes Soledad Muttonwood of Des Moines, Iowa, or Marfa Jo Siskinfeller of Pimlico, England.

In a related photoshopped story. Barbara Walters has stated that the Internet photos that show her camping up in Yellowstone National Park with Condoleezza Rice are totally photoshopped. Walters said that one, she has never been in Wyoming and two, Condi Rice is not her type.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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