Written by Jack Melling
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Monday, 6 December 2010

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is set to star in a new MTV-style dating show called "Silvio's Sexy Sluts."

The programme invites 12 'babes' in love with Silvio's smooth charm, good looks and charisma into his Italian home for a series of challenges that test their dedication to him. The winner of "Silvio's Sexy Sluts" will be awarded with a role in the Italian government and the enviable title as one of Mr Berlusconi's many girlfriends.

The show's selection process was gruelling and often too much for some of the contestants to take. In the first week the 'babes' were tasked with pleasuring Silvio until he yelled the show's catchphrase "Mama Mia!" The girl that did not make him cry out "Mama Mia!" was asked to leave the mansion and paid off with the appropriate amount of money for not selling her story to the Italian press.

Despite the honest intentions of the show, it has been riddled with allegations of in-fighting and corruption. One Russian candidate donated by Soviet Overlord Vladmir Putin was accused of trying to buy Mr Berlusconi for her safe passage through to the next round, two girls of Greek and Turkish origin were seriously injured in the naked wrestling contest and three Italian ladies poured pasta over each other during the cook-off.

When asked about these controversies on the show the Italian Prime Minister replied "What's da matta wid you, you gotta no respect" before leaving to judge a wet t-shirt contest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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