Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for X-factor One Direction's Morrissey Dream Come True
Morrissey is dreaming of a Miserable Christmas for Simon Cowell

Friends from within the camp of One Direction have revealed that the boys will be taking a shocking new career move this Christmas if they win the show.

They said that the boys plan to commit a Revolutionary act against the X-factor machine and employ Morrissey as their manager.

This startling new event came to light during an interview with a student rioter who happens to know a friend of a friend who knows One direction.

He says that the stupid curly haired one said: "Its always been our dream to hang out with Morrissey. We really admire his miserable outlook on life"

The one who looks like a clone from AHA in the 80s is revealed to have added, "If we win, we're going wreck X-factor from the inside out, and Morrisey's gonna help us do it."

This worrying development was confirmed by a friend of Simon Cowell's who said. "Yes. Morrissey phoned last week and told us the news. He sounded quite mad and said he was going to secure One Direction a Christmas collaboration with some obscure totally non commercial person called Lou Reid"

Simon didn't know who Lou Reid was because the Velvet Underground just weren't commercial enough to pop up on his music radar, but he was sure their Christmas song would be a commercial failure.

Morrissey and the boys said they don't care. "Commercial success is failure anyway innit, because its like ...beurgious. But obscure artistic respect is all that matters in this world..and we're going to get it at X-factory's expense.."

If the Christmas song pays off and gets to at least 30 in the charts, then Morrissey is said to be considered letting the boys be his backing band for his Smiths come back, which may or may not ever happen soon.

The boys are said to be delighted. Its their miserable Christmas dream come true.

By Katarina Frogpond

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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