Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster To Star In "The Beaver" - Foster Stresses That She Is Not Playing "The Beaver"
Mel Gibson is thrilled that everyone has forgiven his idiotic rants and raves. (Photo courtesy of Ricky Martin).

HOLLYWOOD - Mel Gibson, who says that he is thrilled beyond belief that everyone has moved on and forgotten about his ridiculous, crazy man, rants and raves regarding his ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva, says his new movie The Beaver will be a box-office smash.

Mel thought about it for a moment and sheepishly added that he did not mean to use the words 'box office' as a pun in any way, shape, or form.

Gibson said that he has changed and mellowed out ever since Oksana recorded him screaming, yelling, and hollering at her over a friggin period of three weeks, which included 97 hours of telephone recordings.

He noted that yes it is true that he used some mighty powerful freakin curse words but he said that they had to be used in order to drive home his mother effen point. He commented that he is, after all a famous movie star.

Mel "From Hell" as Grigorieva referred to him said that if there is one thing that he has learned from this horribly traumatic incident is to never again forget that his damn ass telephone conversations will most likely be recorded.

Gibson went on to say that at least there was nothing on those recordings in which someone could accuse him of being gay, bi-sexual, or even both.

When he was asked about his new movie, he suddenly changed. He became happy, carefree, and almost Clay Aikenish in nature.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Of course everyone knows that Clay Aiken is gay, but Mel insisted that he is not prejudice against gays and that he is sympathetic towards them and is actually friends with Ricky Martin, Nathan Lane, Elton John, and Rupert Everett, but not Barney Frank. Gibson said that he cannot stand the swishing, swaying, lisping fagarino from Massachusetts.]

Gibson remarked that he does not want to say too much about the movie plot other than that it does involve a beaver. He giggled and said that the beaver is actually the animal beaver like the one that builds dams and not the other beaver that is attached to a female.

He revealed that he has promised Jodie (Foster) his co-star that during every interview with the entertainment media that he will certainly make it a point to note that the beaver does not refer to Jodie but to a hand puppet.

In other news. Sarah Palin has stated for the record that the rumors about her and Kate Gosselin playing 'Let's bump tuzzy muzzies' while Kate visited her up in Alaska are absolutely false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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