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Thursday, 11 September 2003

image for Christina Bites Head Off Of Chicken!
Christina: She's One Craaaaazy Lady...

Yes, as if Christina Aguilera couldn't get any crazier, reports have come in that she's bitten the head off of a chicken.

It was only a matter of time before Christina - who's been trying to up her 'rock star' status via friendships with Jack Osbourne and Dave Navarro (guitarist in rockers Jane's Addiction) - pulled off a stunt like this.

The pop-star was seen in Times Square, clutching the poor animal while screaming 'Hey, look at me! Hello!!! I'm standing right here! And I have a chicken! Can't you feel the craziness? I'm so, like, off-the-hook!!'

One onlooker said 'It was a bit pathetic, really. She was waving her arms around, with this chicken flailing in her hands, then when she actually got some of us to look at her, she bit the head off.

'I think she was afraid nobody saw her as a threat anymore, and that fued with Kelly Osbourne really must've pissed her off.'

When asked to comment, Ozzy Osbourne - who originally bit the head off of a dove (in a record company meeting) and a bat (onstage, which he mistook for a rubber one) - stated the following:

'What? A f**king chicken?! What the f**k, man? You don't f**king bite heads off chickens, is she out of her f**king mind?!? I was out of my head on booze and drugs at the time - I, I doubt she was. F**king sad.'

Christina was last seen fleeing to the Mexican border carrying only a suitcase and a blooded chicken corpse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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