Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 December 2010

image for David Beckham Says His Wife Victoria's 'Drawers' Are Always Open
The drain in Victoria Beckham's shower stall. (NOTE: If you look closely you can see six pubic hairs).

PARIS - David and Victoria Beckham were in Paris where they had gone to buy some plaster of Paris for a home project they are working on.

David was asked if it was true that he is an obsessive compulsive who has tremendously strong disorder tendencies.

He said it was true and added that he cannot step on a sidewalk crack, throw peanut shells on the street, or eat an American hot dog without thinking about his wife's pink palace (wissy pissy).

David recalls that when he was 12 months old he would adhere to the three second pacifier rule. He laughed and said that if he dropped his pacifier on the floor and did not pick it up within three seconds then he would toss it in the trash.

He giggled and said that he still recalls dozens of times when his mum (mom) would go into the trash can and retrieve his time expired pacifiers.

The English footballer, aka American soccer player, was asked if his wife is the same way. He laughed and said that she is the complete opposite. He said that in the bathroom for instance she leaves her drawers open.

He added that she has lipsticks sitting on the toilet, an eyebrow pencil stuck in the bathtub soap, and her pantyhose wrapped around a tube of toothpaste.

Victoria said that she knows that she is messy but that is just the way she likes it ah huh ah huh that's she way she likes it.

She confessed that David had a separate bathroom built for himself, which he keeps locked, and which she cannot enter for fear of being hit, kicked, slapped, or bitten.

Victoria says that other than that and her gigantic bunions which are now the size of Brussel Sprouts their marriage is perfect.

In other news. Billy Bob Thornton and Joaquin Phoenix have each denied the rumor that they were photographed at a 'Dude Ranch' in Massachusetts and that both were on the same horse riding side saddle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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