Written by ExiledRoyal
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Topics: Gay, freddie Mercury

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

image for Mercury turns birds homosexual
Statue of Freddie covered in 'Fanny Batter'

The BBC reports that even though he died over 19 years ago, Freddie Mercury still has the power to influence another generation from beyond the grave.

This reporter has been astonished to find that the gay icon has an huge influence on women, even to the point of trying to emulate his famous predilection for same-sex relationships.

Irma Rugmuncher told me that simply watching a video of Freddie performing at Wembley in 1986 left her with unfamiliar feelings of attraction towards other women.

"I was watching him and all of a sudden my thoughts turned to lady gardens, and I started feeling all squirty down below," she informed me.

Irma's experience is by no means unique. I spent a very pleasant afternoon delving into the private thoughts of at least 30 women, all of whom spelt out in immaculate detail just what watching Freddie did to themselves and their "friends".

What a ledge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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