Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for X-Factor's Katie Waissel Is Embarrassed To Learn That Her Sweet 81-Year-Old Granny Is A £250 Per Hour Hooker
Shelia Vogel, wearing a silver wig, on her way to Pimlico's Ringo Starr Hotel.

LONDON - X-Factor's Katie Waissel has just received the shock of her life. She has learned from the media that her 81-year-old grandmother Shelia Vogel is self-employed as a £250 [$389 U.S.] per hour prostitute.

Vogel, reportedly has been plying her trade for close to 60 years and estimates are that in that time she has amassed an income of £22 million [$34.2 million U.S.]

Katie talked to her grandmother and asked her how in the world she was able to hide the fact that she had been playing 'hide the hot dog wiener' for six decades.

Ms. Vogel smiled and said that she has always been somewhat on the shy side except when it comes to boinking of course.

Granny V., as most of her customers call her, can still get after the willies (peckers) like gals who are one-third her age.

She smiles and points out that most of her customers are between the ages of 35 and 95 and live in Pimlico, Westminster, Waterloo, and Soho.

When asked how she can still be so active considering that she is 81-years-old, Shelia grins and notes that she can do some absolutely amazing things with her very talented tongue that not even Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Katie Price, or Paris Hilton even know about, much less do.

Shelia was asked if she plans on retiring anytime soon. She laughed and said that as long as her customers keep coming back for more (pardon the pun) she will continue to perform like the fantastic piece of arse (ass) that she is.

In a related story. The rumor about Queen Elizabeth inviting Shelia to attend a dinner in her honor at Buckingham Palace has been found to have no basis whatsoever.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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