Written by IainB
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Monday, 29 November 2010

image for Justin Bieber miming - asked to sing live in future
Justin Bieber is actually 22

Word is circulating around the musical industry that Justin Bieber should always perform his tracks live due to his complete inability to mime to his own songs.

"I've not seen such bad miming since Top of the Pops in the eighties," said sound technician Mike Rafone. "I was the sound technician for Frankie Goes to Hollywood on Pops, and I thought that would be the worst miming I had ever seen and would ever see. Until today."

Not only was the teenage heartthrob out of synch with the track, at times it looked like he was singing a different song.

"I swear at one point he was singing the lyrics to Birdhouse in your Soul, instead of Poison" said Rafone.

In an attempt to mitigate the outrage, Bieber's 'people' have given a succession of reasons, from it is hard to sing during an active dance routine, Bieber's voice is breaking, he had a cold, it was a new song and he didn't know the words despite supposedly writing it himself.

Aled Jones has some advice if Bieber's voice is breaking: "Well, boyo," said the Welsh Falsetto, "what you need to do, is sing Christian songs, that bunch are far too polite to say anything bad about you."

Worried fans, for whom Bieber can do no wrong, have been sending packets of Lockets in case he has a cold, whilst Madonna has come out and stated that if she can do an active dance routine and sing live at the age of fifty-five having given birth to twelve children, Bieber shouldn't have a problem, and should stop complaining.

Simon Cowell's reaction was simple.

"I think," said Cowell after some thought, "that I have seen better miming on YouTube."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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