LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber was in Tinsel Town visiting the extremely attractive president of the Justin Bieber California Fan Club Brendy Lolly Kissipush, 31.
Bieber wanted to personally thank Mrs. Kissipush for helping to make his fan club the best fan club in the entire country.
Mrs. Kissipush, who is married to Air Force General Rutger G. Kissipush, 47, remarked that she has been the president of the Justin Bieber Fan Club for the past two years.
She smiled proudly and boasted that she won the job through an election where she beat out presidential candidates Calista Salmonstick, 17, of Oatmeal, Texas, and Cedric Mungsteen 58, of Left Hand, West Virginia.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Brendy Lolly Kissipush does not like to mention it, but in 1999, when she was 20, she was voted Miss California Crotch Cookie.]
Justin was asked by a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune about a monetary donation that he had recently made to Oksana Grigorieva.
Bieber got somewhat embarrassed and said that he did not really want to talk about it with the reporter, identified as Homer "The Scooper" Wufflebrook.
Wufflebrook then asked if he would rather talk about his mom's PlayGuy Magazine layout, or perhaps his mom's reported breast enhancement surgery, or maybe even his mom's desire to have her ovaries lifted.
Bieber jumped in and said that he decided to donate $20,000 to Oksana Grigorieva when he read that she was having to buy baby formula with food stamps since her friggin ex-future husband to be Mel "From Hell" Gibson was refusing to provide her with any money.
Justin pointed out that after Mel "The Billion Dollar Man" Gibson divorced his Australian wife he was still left with $500 million. The Bieb added that it was a darn shame that the Aussie Ranter and Raver could not give the mother of his baby some money to buy milk, diapers, age-appropriate toys, and a playpen.
A Friendly Reminder: December 5, is National Help Your Gardener Beat Around The Bush Day.