Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 27 November 2010

image for Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport TSA Inspector Says He Has 'Patted Down' A Total of 17 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
Dixiana Daywicken (Front) and Jo Ellen Lemongrass (Extreme Left) have both been patted down by Rhett Leland Mashflicker.

DALLAS - Transportation Security Administration Inspector Agent Rhett Leland Mashflicker, 43, proudly boasted to fellow TSA pat down inspectors Rufus Socketshank, 29, and Gwyneth Muddyheimer, 24, that he holds The Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport record for patting down Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Mashflicker stated that since Thanksgiving Day he has patted down a total of 17 of the lovely, lilting, ladies who do their rah, rah, rah routines and sis, boom, bah, yells for Jerry Jones' team.

Mashflicker who is married to the former Lolita Fizzcake, Miss Fort Worth of 1991, said that in his entire 20 year career with the TSA he has never been prouder of any of his accomplishments than he is of this one.

He says that all of his neighbors treat him like he is some kind of rock star. They buy him cases of Lone Star Beer, Jack Daniels Whiskey, and Pancho Villa Brand Frozen Tamales.

Mashflicker was asked if his wife was jealous. He laughed and said that at first she was, but now he said that she is thrilled to be married to the man who has touched more Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader hooha's than any man in Texas and in the entire USA for that matter.

In a related story. Rhett Leland Mashflicker and two of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, that he recently patted down, Dixiana Daywicken, 20, and Jo Ellen Lemongrass, 21, will be making an appearance on 'The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,' 'The Late Show With David Letterman,' 'Skating With The Stars,' 'Wheel of Fortune,' and 'The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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