Forget about Prince William and Kate Middleton - next year's wedding of all weddings, if reports are to be believed, will be between Wagner Carillho off the X-Factor and Gillian McKeith off I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!
Skoob Entertainment News sources (Elsie and Doreen Prattle from Rye, East Sussex) told us that they'd heard that the tone deaf karate kicking Brazilian pony tail and the Scottish shit sifter will probably announce their engagement on Christmas day, taking the sting out of the Queen's speech.
Elsie and Doreen went on to speculate that the happy couple will tie the knot in St Paul's cathedral, probably on a wet Wednesday in June, and that it probably won't be declared as a public holiday.
They went on to tell us that Wagner will probably ask Prince Harry to be best man, and have Ben Elton sing 'Candle In The Wind' during the service.
It is thought that Ms McKeith will ask fellow Scot Susan Boyle to be Maid Of Honour. Singing Gary Glitter's anthemic classic 'Hello, Hello, It's Good To Be Back!' during the service, which will probably be conducted by the Pope.
How the couple came together remains a mystery, but Elsie did tell us:
"It's all to with shit and arses really. When Gillian first met Wagner, she couldn't resist lifting his pony tail up to see if there was a horses arse underneath it. And it just kind of grew from there."
"Horse's arse. Yes," concurred Doreen. "Horse's arse. Horse's arse. Horses arse!"
"All right Doreen!" Elsie cautioned. "Don't fucking milk it!"
More as we get it.