Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 24 November 2010

image for The Cheryl Cole - Wagner Carrilho X-Factor Feud Is Getting Ugly!
Cheryl Cole sunbathing in the backyard of her boyfriend Derek Hough's Hollywood Hills Mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha.

LONDON - Simon Cowell has tried to put a lid on the situation but the infamous "Sultan of Sarcasm" seems to have lost control of this year's edition of X-Factor.

Cheryl Cole, one of the shows four judges and girlfriend of Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough of Dancing With The Stars fame says that she cannot stand Wagner Fiuza Carrilho, the man whom she refers to as "The Brazilian Rain Forest Ogre."

Cole does admit that the 54-year-old contestant may end up the eventual winner of this years season of X-Factor due the tremendous amount of votes that are coming in from Portugal, Brazil, Uruguay, Peru, and the rest of the South American countries.

Chezza, as she is known in Britain and now parts of America, says that she does not like Carrilho's eating habits. She went on to explain that he eats way to many crumpets, fish and chips, and Cheerios breakfast cereal.

Carrilho defended his appetite by saying that he can bloody eat anything he feels like it including Cheryl's bargain counter bought jewelry.

Cole exploded when she heard him make that remark and pointed out that her jewelry is worth more than the fookin house that Wag the hag lives in.

Wagner came back by saying that Chezza is still upset because Ashley dumped her arse (ass) and then told the British press that she has a tattoo with his facial likeness tattooed on her G-spot.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Cheryl adamantly denies the G-spot tattoo. I asked Larry King about it and he informed me that Derek Hough had told him that there is no such tattoo on Chezza's G-spot, labia minora, labia majora, or any other part of her female playpen region.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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