Kebab and pizza van entrepreneur Ali Bullo was beside himself in anguish today after investing thousands of pounds in a print run of 2012 calendars featuring 'I'm A Celeb' turd analyst Gillian McKeith in a variety of erotic naked poses.
Ali Bullo, who apparently completely misinterpreted prevailing market trends, had 100,000 photoshopped 'nude photos' of the shit sifting phobia festering harridan (Daily Mail) knocked up and to date hasn't shifted a single unit.
The stack of calendars currently languishes in a lock up garage near Swanwick railway station, in Hampshire.
It's been a bitter blow for Ali Bullo, who can't even shift the stock at cost price and stands to sustain a considerable loss.
"Me no understand this," Ali Bullo explained. "Photoshop Pixie Lott calendars sell like hot cake at ten pound a pop. So me think me make killin' innit. Me go on laptop, run search and see everything about bladdy Gillian McKeith innit, so me phone Dodgy Alan up in Cheetham Hill, Manchester and order print run. Him deliver 100k units within 24 hours. Me expect killin' innit. Me got wrong. No sell single bladdy calendar. Then me find out that bladdy McKeith is old bid like plucked chicken and a bladdy phobic vegan! Am gutted mate. Me lose thousands on this. Not only not sell calendars, but her bladdy vegan mate! Is no bladdy good advert for kebab and burger innit? Bastards!"
More from an irate Ali Bullo as we get it.