GLENDALE, California - Members of the Vermillion Vampire Sect of West Hollywood gathered Monday at the entrance to Michael Jackson's tomb to pay homage to their favorite musician. Although a former member of the group claims that Jackson was a card-carrying vampire, no one from the sect would betray Jackson's trust by outing him as such.
A disgruntled former sect member came forward last week and made good on his vow to get back at the sect for asking him to leave due to his aversion to blood. "Ok, I get it," said Harold Clumsley, "I fainted when they put that vial of blood in front of me, but I was willing to do anything to stay in the group. It wasn't enough. They kicked me out."
After being told by the clan's leader that he could no longer belong to the club, Clumsley claims he cried all the way home, "until I remembered the one piece of information that would get back at those poseurs," he said.
The Vermillion Vampires claim to be huge fans of Michael Jackson, but nothing more. "He never was and is not now a member of our group," stated Claus von Stroud, the group's leader. Police, however, were watching the group quite closely as they gathered in a circle, lit black candles, and prayed backwards in Latin.
"Smarmy group," said the security guard on duty in front of the tomb. "I've got my eyes on them. I don't believe for a minute that Jackson is a vampire, but you never know. He did like to wear a lot of black and there are millions of people who claim they've seen Jackson even after his death." He paused for a minute. "Nah," he said "couldn't be," while pulling the scarf around his neck tighter.