LOS ANGELES - It was a tear-filled night at the 38th Annual American Music Awards, or as Snoop Dogg calls them, "Da AMA's fa shizzle ma nizzle goodies y'all."
The ceremonies were held at the Nokia Theater, which is named after the California fish and not the camera.
Usher lost out twice to little Bieber and cried. Brad Paisley won once and cried. And Shakira, who won for Favorite Latin Music Artist did not even show up, but cried because she dislocated one of her hips doing a 124 mile per hour shake 'n bake at The La Chupacabra Convention Center in El Paso.
The little Canadian powerhouse Justin Bieber took home five awards including; Artist of the Year, Favorite Pop Rock Album, Breakthrough Artist, Favorite Male Pop Artist, and Male or Female Artist With The Most Effen Hair.
Detroit's Eminem, who plans on changing his name to the more politically correct M&M won for Favorite Best Rap Hip Hop Bling Bling Album with "Recovery of A Recovering Recoverer."
Usher, who is Justin Bieber's mentor, won for Best Rhythm and Blues/Soul for "Everybody Loves Raymond Vs. Everybody Loves Raymond."
And the little Oklahoma country girl herself, Carrie "Where The Heck Is My Hubby" Underwear, I mean Underwood, won for Top Country Music Album for "Play On While I Go Out Yonder And See About Rotating The Damn Crops."
The Black Eyed Peas won for Best Pop Rock Band, Duo, Group, and or Vegetable Recipe. The band's manager Smokey Winkybush, revealed that the group will be changing their name due to racial pressure from Rev. Al Sharpton who says that he does not appreciate them making fun of black folks.
Effective January 1, 2011, the Black Eyed Peas will be known as The African American Eyed Peas.
And every body's sweetheart, (except for Kanye The Pest of course) Taylor Swift won the award for Best Female Country Artist for her third album entitled, "Speak Now 'Cause I'm Fixin' To Write A Song About Ya Pretty Damn Soon Dude."
Brad Paisley won Best Male Country Artist. He gave quite an acceptance speech which went on for seven minutes. He thanked over 162 people, plus his farm tractor, his water well, his barn, and his state-of-the-art horse shoe making machine.
SIDENOTE: Katy Perry and her brand new husband Russell "The Mouth" Brand reportedly told a reporter for The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that they like Justin Bieber so much that they have instructed their attorney to look into the possibility of possibly adopting little Bieber.