Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 22 November 2010

image for Katie Waissel's Great Grandfather Was In The SS Claims Hack
Bloody Hell! I Never Knew That!

It appears that despite having a slightly elfin new haircut and finally beginning to win over the cynical British public, X-Factor diva Katie Waissel isn't out of the woods yet, as embittered redtop hack Richard Littlecock launched yet another stunning personal attack on the "Sod it!" sit down singing sensation.

"Her great grandad was in the SS," Littlecock told Skoob Entertainment News. "It's true that is. The bottom line is that she's a nazi because her great grandad worked at Belsen and was responsible for executing thousands. That's what we're dealing with here. I've heard talk of a hate campaign against Katie, but that simply isn't true. It isn't my fault that her great grandad was in the SS, that her grandad is a pimp and her nan a hooker. I just pass on what I'm told by sources."

At which point, SEN's Martin Shuttlecock challenged Littlecock to a cockfight, saying:

"I'm no great fan of Katie Waissel, but the truth is that you're making all this shit up aren't you? You're just orchestrating this malicious hate campaign because you can't forget that Simon Cowell never stood his corner that night at Spearmint Rhino? Am I right? Or am I right?"

At which point, Littlecock blushed.

"It's a fair cop guv," he groaned. "But even you bastards at SEN must admit that I'm bloody good at making the stories up. And I phone in dozens of votes for Wagner every week - just to fuck up the Cowbell bastard. A bit like masterchev. Genius that! Cheers mate!"

Which all goes to prove that there's nothing as dangerous as a drinking buddy scorned at Spearmint Rhino.

Especially when said ex-buddy works for a Sunday red top.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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