Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 22 November 2010

image for I'm A Celeb - The Truth About Gillian McKeith's Fainting Fits
Proper Bush Tucker - Lightly Seasoned With A Sprinkling Of Ticks And Fleas

Skoob Entertainment News can finally reveal the truth about Gillian McKeith's on demand fainting episodes on 'I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here!'

There are, according to sources, TWO reasons for the panicky fainting bouts. One of the reasons given is that Vegan, Gillian, needs to get a proper meal down her - like bangers and mash, steak and chips, or an extra large chicken shish kebab with lashings of hot chilli sauce.

SEN's very own dietician, Anne Shuttlecock told us that Gillian should eat a big greasy breakfast roll with bacon and sausage and follow it up with black pudding. Or alternatively, loads of pies, and maybe a nice fish and chips.

"No wonder the silly cow keeps fainting," Anne told us. "She needs some proper grub. All this veggie/vegan shite gets right on me tits it does. Silly cow needs some bloody meat. Preferably with gravy. You can't beat gravy. I mean proper gravy, not that shit you get in packets or jars. I can only assume that the silly cow is a Vegan because she hates cruelty to animals. That's bollocks is that. I don't see them jungle bugs giving her the same degree of consideration. Silly moo needs to learn that animals were put on this earth to be butchered and eaten. In pies, or pan fried, or in a nice pot roast. No wonder she keeps fucking fainting."

But that isn't apparently all there is to it.

It seems that Linford Christie's legendary lunchbox is also driving Gillian into paroxyms of delight, resulting in light headedness and wobbly knees.

A message from an 'I'm A Celeb' insider informed SEN:

"It's not just the Vegan thing. It's Linford. Whenever he's around, she can't seem to tear her gaze away from his lunchbox. He got up and stretched the other day, in an unbroadcast incident - well, when he did that, Gillian's eyes rolled around in her head, she muttered something about Jesus and fell backwards off the log in a dead faint."

Just by way of a change.

Seems the Vegan doesn't detest all things sausagey.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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