Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 22 November 2010

image for Katie Waissel's 81 Year Old Nan Is NOT A Prostitute
Is That A Packet Of Polo Mints In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

Despite scurrilous reports to the contrary by a popular Sunday newspaper, Mrs Eloise Stroke, a neighbour and close confidante of Katie Waissel's nan today insisted that Sheila Vogel, 81 is not now, nor ever was a prostitute.

Mrs Stroke insisted that the whole story was an elaborately fabricated tissue of lies designed to discredit her friend, and damage Katie's chances of winning X-Factor.

Initial reports suggested that Sheila Vogel charged up to £250 per hour for sexual services on a website called rabidgrannies.con but Eloise described the story as "bloody ridiculous and as daft as arseholes."

In an exclusive with Skoob Entertainment News, Mrs Stroke told us that her friend is just like any other 81 year old, having a pet cat, enjoying whist drives, smelling faintly of piss and cabbage, and enjoying watching that nice Paul O'Grady of a tea time on the telly.

"To call my mate a prostitute is just too stupid for words," Mrs Stroke told us. "Them pictures on that website were photoshopped, and the reporter is well known round here. People don't really like him. His eyes is too close together, you see. It's all part of a malicious smear campaign designed to discredit Katie. Besides, Sheila has a wonky hip and dodgy knees - she couldn't wave her legs about in the air even if she did have the urge take her. Although I could have sworn she once said she'd love a threesome with Alan Titchmarsh and David Dickinson off 'Dickinson's Real Deal.' But perhaps I got the wrong end of the stick."

In totally unrelated news - Wayne Rooney came on as sub in Manchester United's 2-0 win over Wigan Athletic. Although he failed to score.

More as we get it.

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