Written by Jingle_Bells
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Topics: Starbucks, donkey

Monday, 25 July 2005

On July 24, 2005, Keanu Reeves was seen "riding a donkey" down the street to a local Starbucks. It was said that he "had a saddle and a bridle on a donkey and was slowly but surely clip-clopping down the local street."

We, of course, rushed down to the scene in LA and sure enough, a donkey was tied to a bench just outside the store as Keanu slurped down his coffee.

We right away rushed into to see the heartthrob for some questions.

"I purchased Donkey at some farmer's house. All those high stylized cars were getting unstylish to me and I needed a new set of wheels or hooves, whichever works," said Keanu Reeves, answering one of our reporters questions.

"Every celebrity has a Porsche or BMW or some big car... I just needed to make a change in this materialized world."

Words from the great man himself.

In answer to another question he said, "Donkey is only two years of age, he is very healthy and got a great, strong back. And as you can tell by his brown markings and light brown around his mouth and such, that he is a beautiful specimen."

Could this have something to do with his run-in with the devil?

"You know, the devil is suppose to be sarcastic, or so my movie Constantine shows. I think he would be laughing at me right now, making sarcastic jokes about me," he said, he then looked to the ground and started yelling some..bad things to it.

"I think most people need to appreciate life and what the creator has given us. Materialized things shouldn't be our main priority, but unfortunately, it is," he said again.

Keanu went on, "I keep Donkey in a nice little pin in my yard. It looks just like a farm and he has lots of hay and a gate just incase he gets crazy ideas. I would say Donkey and I have become friends over the day. He seems to be used to me."

Only a day?

"What was the previous owner like when you asked for him?" Asked one of our reporters.

"First he called his daughters out, who I can't deny were beautiful, and then they screamed when they saw me. And they all asked for autographs, and I gave them some. Then I got down to business and he was happy to allow me to have him. It only cost me a hundred bucks."

After a few good-byes, Keanu picked up his things and left with the donkey. Clip-clopping his way up the LA Street.

There we have it, people. There we have it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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