Lindsay Lohan was summarily dismissed as the actress portraying Porn Legend, Linda Lovelace yesterday. Apparently the production could no longer put off shooting dates to accommodate Ms. Lohan.
"We were more than patient with, and were behind, Lindsay. We now have run into issues with the completion bond and general insurance". said Director, Matthew Wilder.
Actors that were considered as replacements were, Paris Hilton, she's already proven she can sword swallow, in her sex video. Dakota Fanning, she's all grown up now and is doing lesbo scenes in films such as, The Runaways. Unfortunately lickin lips and engulfing cucumbers are totally different things. Others considered, Dame, Judy Dentch, Judge Judy and Carmen Electra. Unfortunately, when it came to doing the deed none of the above could cut the mustard. Lindsay, an accomplished sword swallower, is going to be hard to replace.
That is till now. As the production was stressing to find someone an unlikely person stepped forward, Sarah Palin threw her hat into the ring.
It's questionable, Palin, does in fact, have a big enough mouth. Whether Palin can go really deep into the well, is to be seen.
Industry insiders say that Palin is trying to shed her goody two shoes image and wants to be a really bad girl.
The movie is scheduled to begin principle photography in two weeks.
I think only time, practice and determination will be the deciding fact in this strange turn of events.
From Hollywood and Vine
Buck E Filbert
Reporter, The Spoof.