Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for Kim Kardashian Confesses That Her Tits Are Too Big
A photo of bras that Kim Kardashian says she used when she was in the second grade.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kim Kardashian was sitting out by her swimming pool reading the latest issue of Carbs and Calories magazine when she was asked by her gardener if it was true that she was getting back together with her ex-boyfriend Dallas Cowboy receiver Miles Austin.

Kim put down her Kamikaze Cocktail and asked him why he would ask her such a personal question.

The gardener identified as Pancho "Freckles" Cabeza De Pollo shyly responded by saying, "I just tink dat ju still lub heem because I see ju looking berry berry sad like ju hab just deescobburd cellulite or sunteen."

Kardashian stood up and Pancho's eyes got the size of ping pong balls as she was wearing a tremendously skimpy yellow bikini swimsuit.

"Tell me Panch. Do you think that I have a big ass?" She asked turning around for him to get a good look at the tremendous expanse of her booty.

"Well, lemmy see eat closer and better...jes I would sey dat ju do hab a beeg chingon ass Mees Kim."

"Panch what does chingon mean?"

"Oh eat means dat eat ease berry berry beeg like Oprah's gigantic caboose." He replied.

Kardashian then asked him what he thought about her knockers.

"What are knockers?" Pancho asked.

Kim laughed and said that knockers is French for tits. His eyes lit up and he replied "Oh jes, jur tits are berry beeg like two effing cantaloupes Mees Kim."

Kardashina started to cry. Pancho felt bad. He asked if she was maybe allergic to cantaloupes.

She replied that all of her life she has always had big tits and that in grade school everyone made fun of then and some of the teachers even referred to her as Kimmy The Rack.

Pancho laughed. And he apologized saying that he had a grandmother named Petrita, who also had some big tata's. He grinned and said that all of the grandkids used to beg her to jump up and down so that they could see her knock stuff off of the coffee table.

He smiled and said that watching Grandma Petrita's bazongas was more fun than knocking the hell out of a pinata. He paused and then said, "Well except for dee fact dat candies did not fall out of my grandmother's chi-chi's like dey deed out of dee pinata."

Kim started laughing so hard she knocked down her Kamikaze cocktail glass with her you-know-whats. She picked the glass up and ran inside the house nearly knocking the hell out of her pet schnauzer Limbaugh.

To see photos of Kim Kardashian's humongous puppies log on to www.kimkardashiansbigguns.tit

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