Written by Nick Hobbs
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Bizarre: Coronation Street Demonstrations Reach Fever Pitch.
Tracks not like these are not repaired by engineers, because they're not used in not making the train crash that isn't real!

A surge of activity both online and 'on the street' has errupted, as D-Day looms for some of the stars of Britain's greatest archive of modern life, Coronation Street.

Viewers have begun petitioning Parliament and staging demonstrations up and down the country, to try and get scriptwriters to change their minds over the forthcoming storyline.

Everyone knows who is going to die, and who will survive in the oncoming viaduct disaster in early December, when a train is set to leave the rails and crush everyone as they run screaming towards Norris and Rita's Cabin.

But campaigners have urged Manchester Rail to perform immediate repair works to the line crossing over Coronation Street, in an attempt to halt the disaster.

Campaigner Debbie Joyce Baldwin (no relation) said "They know it's an accident waiting to happen, and they are just unwilling to do anything about it!"

"We have shown them evidence of what will occur, from photographs published in TV Weekly, but they will not budge," she continued "it's criminal."

A spokesman from Manchester Rail said "there is no viaduct! There's no Coronation Street. It's all been filmed already! There's nothing we can do fer Christ's sake!"

"His blatant refusal to even acknowledge the existence of the line above the street is just proof that they will willingly let this tragedy happen!" said Baldwin, "he will have blood on his hands come the day!"

Several stars are set to be killed in crushing ways. Reports that Gail will survive are unconfirmed, and we must admit we hope are false.

Seeing her crushed by a train would almost make the whole affair worthwhile.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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