Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Bristol Palin of Dancing With The Stars Told To Stop Using The Words "Suck," "Screwed," and "Effed Up" During Her Live Interviews
Bristol wearing a belt buckle made from the teeth of a polar bear that her mother Sarah "Shotgun" Palin shot.

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of the hit reality show Dancing With The Stars have asked Bristol Palin to please refrain from using trashy words such as "suck," "screwed," and effed up" when she is being interviewed live on television.

Bernadette Penderlicki stated that just in the past two weeks she has received tens of thousands of emails, text messages, and phone calls from viewers of the show telling her to have a talk with Sarah Palin's oldest daughter and instruct her to start talking like the 20-year-old young lady that she is and not like the 68-year-old has been bitch Madonna, who cannot utter four words without one being a vulgar curse word.

Young Palin, who is known as Bristol "The Pistol" has said that she will try her best to catch herself before the words come out of her mouth but that she cannot guarantee anything since after all she is an Alaskan, and Alaskans unlike Delawareans, Utes, or Vermonters are literally born cussing.

The shows censor Lars Acushnet has stated that several years ago he had hell having to bleep out the curse words that flowed from the mouth of hip hop singer Macy Gray.

Acushnet said that this year Bristol "The Pistol" has really kept him on his toes. He laughed and added that one thing for sure, with young Palin's potty mouth Mama Palin, Sarah, will not have to worry about any young men coming around looking to try and get into Bristol's pants.

In other news. Mexican actress Salma Hayek and talk show host George Lopez have both denied any participation in the highly publicized Counterfeit Burro Pinatas Smuggling Scandal which was broken up by United States Customs Agents at Laredo, Texas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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