An enraged spokesperson for the NAACP issued a proclamation today calling for the immediate recall of all copies of the popular video game 'Black Ops'.
"When will this cultural racist stereotyping end" he cried in anguish, at one point moved to tears. "Black Ops. BLACK Ops! Why does black always gotta be associated with something bad? We demand a boycott on this game!"
In a lengthy tirade, he also called for many more changes, including "Women must start wearing black wedding dresses instead of white, to signify purity. The good-guy in cowboy movies must wear a black hat instead of white. The 'Star Wars' movies must be digitally re-mastered with Darth Vader in white instead of black, and the evil side of 'the force' must be referred to as the 'light side'. All those punk 'goth' kids must be forced paint their fingernails white and wear white lipstick instead of black. 'Count Dracula' must be depicted in a white cape and residing in a white coffin!"
None of the reporters present dared ask any questions. At the conclusion of his tirade, he seemed drained, spent, and issued one last appeal. "Please, I'm begging you. Can't we all just get along? Can't we end racism in all it's forms? Except of course affirmative action...I mean, that's not racism, its, ah, positive steps, it's affirmative action...it's racism for a good cause. Oh, yeah. And it is true that Asian women are bad drivers. Orthodox Jews are a little kooky. NASCAR fans down South are cracker rednecks. And Arabs on airplanes make me a little nervous. Thank you."